Judge Jaune Arc
by Hapless-Ace
Summary: When the people of Remnant are seeking justice for when they’ve been wronged there’s only one man to call, Judge Jaune Arc. All cases are real, and he always works to ensure that justice prevails.


A/N: Inspired by DevilArtemis' Perfect Cell vs. Android 21 series. Yuki owned by my friend Yoshi3000

**You are entering the courtroom of Judge Jaune Arc. He's a real judge, in his courtroom everyone has a right to a fair trial, but if they're proven wrong he'll make them pay.**

_In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Vale the dedicated detectives who investigate these viscous felonies are members of an elite squad known as the Special Hunter's Unite. These are their stories…_

Court Room 12:00 PM

"Alright let's get on with this court case." Judge Jaune Arc said as he banged his gavel. At the defense was one Mercury Black, with the plaintiff being Cinder Fall. Mercury had chosen to represent himself, while Cinder was being represented by Roman Torchwick.

Jaune looked to Mercury from atop his chair, and asked him. "How do you plead. Mercury?"

"I didn't do shit!" Mercury hollered

Jaune then looked to Roman, and Cinder. "State your case."

Roman quickly retorted. "He's full of shit, and he assaulted by client!"

Mercury sighed "Look I swear on my mother, she said she wasn't a true maiden, and besides it was consensual!"

Roman glared at Mercury before pointing an accusing finger. "Objection your honor! He has no mother!"

"That's irrelevant, I'm innocent god damnit!" Mercury pointed right back at Roman.

"My client was assaulted by this man, and should be sentenced to life in prison." Roman slammed his fists onto the table, while Cinder just watched with a cruel smirk.

Cinder had soon adopted a more 'innocent' look before playing up the seduction in her voice. "It's true your honor. That Mercury is a naughty boy, and should be punished. Mmm mehe." She purred

Mercury's eye went wide as he motioned both his arms to Cinder. "Ya see! Does a pure woman talk that way?!"

Jaune looked down at his lap. "I do have an erection. I see your point Merc."

Roman spoke back up again, and glared straight into Mercury's eyes. "Have you no respect Mercury?! That's someone's daughter! How do you think her father would feel?!"

Mercury just raised his middle fingers in response. "Why do you care?! Your dad doesn't even love you!"

Roman dropped the glare, and looked straight back at Jaune. "Your honor it's obvious that he's attacking me personally now." Roman sounded very offended.

Cinder rubbed her hand down Roman's shoulder. "It's ok Roman, I know what it's like to be taken advantage of."

"What say you Mercury, against these accusations?" Jaune asked Mercury with his brow raised.

Mercury just smirked as he had his ace in the sleeve ready. "I call upon my witness. Jaune Arc!"

Everyone gasped hearing this, and looked to the judge…

"What?" Roman said looking at Mercury as if he was mad.

"Without an e." Mercury narrowed his eyes.

The Jury, comprising of RWBY, NPR, Yuki, and Neo, who was furious about Cinder touching Roman, watched on as they were shocked to see a mustachioed version of Jaune walking into the court room.

"Huh I did not expect Jury Duty to be this entertaining." Blake said between bites of her sushi.

"This is better than my soaps!" Yang said as she scarfed down a handful of popcorn

"Yang this is serious! Someone's life lies on the line." Weiss said though still unsure of what qualifications Jaune had to be a judge. She just drank her coffee, and waited for the results.

"Yeah have some decorum!" Nora hollered as she scarfed down a hot dog.

"You're one to talk Nora." Ren said flatly, though he was enjoying one of his health smoothies as they saw the bailiff, Qrow of all people, led in Jaune's doppelgänger.

Pyrrha was to distracted seeing Jaune's mustachioed doppelgänger to really comment. She hadn't noticed that Nora was in the middle of taking her chocolate.

"I'm still trying to figure out how I got roped into this." Yuki grunted in the middle of a bowl of noodles.

"..." Neo just shoveled more ice cream into her mouth out of annoyance of that whore Cinder still rubbing Roman.

Ruby looked at them all, and pouted. "What? No one thought about getting me a snack?"

"Alright, Mercury calls upon his witness. Jaun without an e." Jaune looked to his evil older twin brother once removed, and had him place his hand on a copy of 'Cowboys of Redemption'. "Now, do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth? So help you Oum."

Jaun just looked at his twin brother, as his barely hidden contempt for the younger Arc scion was on full display. "Fuck you!"

Jaune paused, but looked back to the rest of the courtroom. "You heard him folks, go ahead, question the witness."

Mercury looked to his witness, and grinned. "Jaun without an e, did you or did you not see me have sexual relations with Cinder Fall."

"Yes," Jaun looked to his brother "he was in fact balls deep your honor."

Roman was very giddy hearing this, and had to fight the urge to do a twirl. "Ya see your honor! Mercury even admits to assaulting my client!"

Mercury glowered at Roman, and nearly threw his pitcher of water at the ginger. "Now hold on! Fucking dick!"

Mercury turned his head back to Jaun. "Jaun without an e, could you please tell the court who initiated the situation."

"Well as I was preparing the lotion from behind the safety of the shuttered closet. It was Cinder I saw leap onto Mercury first." Jaun said much to the disgust of most of everyone in the audience, though Blake was taking notes.

"Aha! Therefore my ass is innocent! She started this, and she's a thot!" Mercury pointed straight dead at an offended Cinder.

"Hey, that's not very nice! I am a respected member of the RWBY community." Cinder crossed her arms.

Mercury had an unamused look as he looked to Jaune. "Objection your honor, bitches be lyin."

Roman looked to Jaune, and much to everyone's surprise agreed with Mercury. "Yeah I second that one your honor."

Jaune sighed, and rubbed his temples before looking to the court. "Alright let's be honest, how many people within this courtroom have slept with Cinder Fall? Raise your hand."

Jaun raised his hand, then Mercury, Jaune did aswell causing Pyrrha and Ruby began to formulate their revenge, Yuki, Yang, and much to everyone's shock, and Neo's anger, Roman. Everyone in the Jury also learned that threats from a mute could be just as scary, if not more than a regular person.

"Well I guess the cat's out of the bag now." Cinder has shrugged.

"Uh-huh. Yuki, what say the Jury?" Jaune asked the head juror.

Yuki looked up from his food when he'd heard that he'd been called on. "Hm, oh your honor the ladies and gentlemen of the Jury find R. Kelly guilty."

Jaune looked surprised by that call, like super surprised. "What? Wrong trial Yuki."

"Oh, right. Mercury's innocent." Yuki said before picking back up his bowl.

"Yess!" Mercury said as he jumped up in the air.

["Don't You(Forget About Me)" starts playing]

Mercury: Mercury had all charges against him dropped. He was later confused for some guy named Sasuke by some weird blonde guy, and a girl with pink hair.

Roman: After Roman lost the case, he retired as a lawyer. He later would be punished by Neo in her personal dungeon for sleeping with that whore Cinder…

Cinder: Cinder continued her legendary ways of being a thot. She slept with 666 men one hour after the trial…

Jaune: Jaune was later cornered by an angry Pyrrha, and Ruby for sleeping with Cinder. He still can't walk without a limp to this day; he's expecting red haired and silver eyed kids any day now.

Jaun: Jaun without an e continued to plot Jaune's death, but eventually gave up, found love, and stole Neptune's girlfriend.

Yuki: Yuki went back to his team, deciding he should apply to be a judge. His first case is Glynda Goodwitch v. Sienna Kahn, for ownership of Ironwood's Iron schlong.

Ruby: Ruby teamed up with Pyrrha to make Jaune regret not sleeping with them first. She's currently expecting a beautiful baby boy.

Weiss: After a night on the town with Jaun without an e, Weiss soon learned not all men with mustaches are evil. They plan to marry, and have her father killed by next Winter.

Blake: Blake turned the events of the court into an erotic legal novel. She's earned enough money to keep her fat Bellabooty drowned in Tuna for the rest of her life.

Yang: Yang would later go on to take over Vacuo. She rules with an Iron pun.

Pyrrha: After a week of making Jaune's body forget Cinder, Pyrrha felt lighter than air. She's expecting twin daughters any day now.

Nora: Nora burned down a village for worshipping waffles. No one could convict her.

Ren: Ren kept Nora from burning down a second village. He later went on to dance battle the God of Light, and win.

Neo: Neo still hasn't released Roman from her dungeon to this day.


End file.
